I’ve been having weird dreams lately. Strange dreams of me being in school again, and not knowing which class I’m supposed to be in or where the room is located. Being stranded because someone stole one (just one?) of my crutches. Like I said, weird!
Plus I’m getting phone calls in my dream from a friend that has passed away. I wake up wishing I could call this friend. I hear Jimmy’s laugh in my dream and I wake up missing him. It is a tribute to him that the ting I remember and dream about is his laughter.
I’m trying to remain positive about life. It gets harder everyday.
I keep my mind focussed on the people and things in my life for which I am thankful. I truly am thankful, I may not say it enough. Sometimes difficult to do when your brain lies to you. Anxiety and tears seem to come so easy. Is it really this easy to feel so terrible?
Why is it easier to see the potential and promise of success in someone else, but not within ourselves? Is the spark hidden so deep that we can’t see it within our own lives?
This is what I ponder late at night in an anxiety fueled insomnia while doing my best not to fall apart.