It’s been a good day. I spent the morning talking to an old friend. It was nice to catch up. I am thankful for this person, not sure if they know that. We haven’t seen each other in about 18 years and we parted in a difficult way, it hurt for long time. It changed me for the better I think. Other people who know me might disagree with my assessment.
A lot of things changed in that time. I guess that’s what I’m hoping for, a change. As much as I sometimes (most times) despise them, it is inevitable. It’s not always a bad thing though it sometimes seems that way. It’s going to happen so I try to roll with it the best that I am able. Picking myself up and moving forward, sometimes very slowly. So slow that it sometimes feels like I’m moving backwards.
Things changed yesterday and I not certain it was a bad thing. It wasn’t pleasant, but it was for the best I think. It’s said that God opens doors. I don’t know if I completely believe that. I think we have to look for those doors ourselves. I try not sit around and wait for the universe to drop something in my lap. I admit, I have been lucky for that to happen in the past. I usually have a hard time seeing opportunities. It’s not what I’m hoping for, so I miss it by not being open to it.
I need to work on seeing things in different ways. I have never been really good at that. My logical mind wants to put everything the way that it thinks it should be. Control freak much? I try not to do that to people, but when it comes to myself I’m bad at trying to fix everything. I can’t do that. So I need to change.