I originally set this blog up in 2001 to be a place to talk about my life and the adventures I would have. I feel it has devolved into a place where I log my depression and anxiety over the life that could have been.
While mental health is important and I will try to post articles I believe important or interesting, i want more for this site. I will attempt to find that internal voice to tell my story again. I want this place to be a place of life and art that I find or create myself. Not just a place to incessantly whine about what could have been but isn’t. Does that make sense? I hope so.
I’ve been having weird dreams lately. Strange dreams of me being in school again, and not knowing which class I’m supposed to be in or where the room is located. Being stranded because someone stole one (just one?) of my crutches. Like I said, weird!
Plus I’m getting phone calls in my dream from a friend that has passed away. I wake up wishing I could call this friend. I hear Jimmy’s laugh in my dream and I wake up missing him. It is a tribute to him that the ting I remember and dream about is his laughter.
I’m being successful at writing more often. I started daily meditation. I’ve been feeling better. Then I woke up with anxiety this morning. Not sure what the trigger was, but I am feeling anxiety and depression. Trying my best to focus on the positive changes I have made and not the feelings I have right now.
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I’m noticing that my writing changes when typing here versus handwriting it in a journal. I’m much more descriptive in my journal. It feels more connected, like my soul is pouring on to the page.
Three Ways That Handwriting With A Pen Positively Affects Your Brain