Can’t seem to nail down any job interviews. I also can’t find my art box with all my drawing pencils and tape. Grr, Just want to be creative and not focus on the negatives.
I originally set this blog up in 2001 to be a place to talk about my life and the adventures I would have. I feel it has devolved into a place where I log my depression and anxiety over the life that could have been.
While mental health is important and I will try to post articles I believe important or interesting, i want more for this site. I will attempt to find that internal voice to tell my story again. I want this place to be a place of life and art that I find or create myself. Not just a place to incessantly whine about what could have been but isn’t. Does that make sense? I hope so.
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Studying more ways to keep a journal. I know there is more I could be doing. Goals, money, personal time, etc. Don’t force it is what I’m finding. Swapping out journals at the beginning of the year. Which I didn’t do this year.
Topics are still difficult for me. Maybe some pages will be lists. Who knows, maybe a music journal, or other topics I haven’t found yet.
Starting 2019 with feeling grateful for the things I have in life. Nothing seems to go right, but I am thankful for family and friends, my dog Georgie, and that I have a place to lay my head at night.
I’m grateful that I get to spend mornings with my grandma having toast and coffee. She’s 95 and is an inspiration for how to live your life and be thankful for everything in it.
I wouldn’t be where I am today without my family. They have stood by me no matter the circumstances. I have a roof over my head and people who love me. I am proud to call them family. We don’t always agree, but we get along and love each other.
I’m thankful for my friend, Pepe. Always working hard towards his goal or pursuing art as his passion. He’s always got a kind word or an encouraging way of looking at things. We’ve been friends for almost 35 years, and I consider him family. We share a passion for writing, creating, and contributing our art to the universe. We share a love of comics, movies, conventions, and Prince.
In all, I have an abundance to be thankful for. I am hopeful for what 2019 will bring too me.
Today I wrote in my journal twenty-five journaling prompts. None of them really sparked much. But then I ended up writing 4 pages on journaling and how my topics have changed over the years. I’m no longer searching for a relationship, I had one for over ten years. I don’t need anyone to complete me.
So having nothing to write about turned into 4 pages of reflecting on the past and changes in attitude.
It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 16 years since I started this site. It had more of a purpose when I first put it together. It was a place that my fiancé and I posted stories of our life. Those posts are mostly hidden right now and you won’t find them here.
I don’t really do much advocating for disabled people anymore. My life has shifted, and I don’t focus on my disability. Not that I don’t have some issues, I just choose not to let it be the focus of my life.
I have to give a shout out to StephtheGeek, she was the inspiration for my starting this site. You are awesome Steph, much love to you. I met many of my online friends through you and I am eternally grateful for all your little site did for me.
Truthfully, I’m struggling trying to make this site more relevant. The days of blogs are over I fear. If you don’t have a relevant topic to talk about there is not much to publish that is worthwhile. But I’m going to ramble anyway, who cares if anyone is listening?
Facebook is the juggernaut of the web these days. Personally, if I didn’t use it to connect with friends, I would ditch Facebook. Possibly, I will just use this place as a dumping ground for my writing. Maybe one day I will have a more interesting life to chronicle here, who knows, it could happen.