Starting 2019 with feeling grateful for the things I have in life. Nothing seems to go right, but I am thankful for family and friends, my dog Georgie, and that I have a place to lay my head at night.
I’m grateful that I get to spend mornings with my grandma having toast and coffee. She’s 95 and is an inspiration for how to live your life and be thankful for everything in it.
I wouldn’t be where I am today without my family. They have stood by me no matter the circumstances. I have a roof over my head and people who love me. I am proud to call them family. We don’t always agree, but we get along and love each other.
I’m thankful for my friend, Pepe. Always working hard towards his goal or pursuing art as his passion. He’s always got a kind word or an encouraging way of looking at things. We’ve been friends for almost 35 years, and I consider him family. We share a passion for writing, creating, and contributing our art to the universe. We share a love of comics, movies, conventions, and Prince.
In all, I have an abundance to be thankful for. I am hopeful for what 2019 will bring too me.
It’s hard to believe it’s been almost 16 years since I started this site. It had more of a purpose when I first put it together. It was a place that my fiancé and I posted stories of our life. Those posts are mostly hidden right now and you won’t find them here.
I don’t really do much advocating for disabled people anymore. My life has shifted, and I don’t focus on my disability. Not that I don’t have some issues, I just choose not to let it be the focus of my life.
I have to give a shout out to StephtheGeek, she was the inspiration for my starting this site. You are awesome Steph, much love to you. I met many of my online friends through you and I am eternally grateful for all your little site did for me.
Truthfully, I’m struggling trying to make this site more relevant. The days of blogs are over I fear. If you don’t have a relevant topic to talk about there is not much to publish that is worthwhile. But I’m going to ramble anyway, who cares if anyone is listening?
Facebook is the juggernaut of the web these days. Personally, if I didn’t use it to connect with friends, I would ditch Facebook. Possibly, I will just use this place as a dumping ground for my writing. Maybe one day I will have a more interesting life to chronicle here, who knows, it could happen.
It’s been a while since I put a real post on these pages concerning my life. Mostly I guess because I felt I didn’t have much to say. I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for most of my life and lately it’s been a real struggle to stay motivated.
In order to keep moving forward I began some online courses to practice my skills and learn a few new ones in the process. I looked into actual schooling, but the $13,000 price tag has sort of put that on the back burner for now. I recently blew a head gasket on my car and the repairs came top a whopping $2700, which I will be paying off for quite some time.
I spent the weekend revamping my websites, and my next step is to rewrite my resume for the umpteenth time. Not looking forward to this.
I’ve also been bidding on jobs on www.freelancer.com Probably won’t make a lot of money, but every little bit helps. I’m also doing this to keep my skills fresh and to keep busy.
I’m tired, that is the hardest part of dealing with everything. I’m trying to stay positive and move forward. But truthfully it’s taking all I have. If not for family and the one close friend nearby, I don’t think I’d be doing as well as I am. So I’ll trudge forward and keep on going.
I’m going through a lot of emotions lately. Not all of them happy or fun. As I keep trying to put my life back together, sometimes unsuccessfully. Jobs are hard to find, I live in an area outside of the civilized world. Much of the time I am isolated, alone, and lonely. I do my best to be productive and move forward as best I can given these circumstances.
Some days I get very down. I find it hard to keep going. I listen to the trains outside my window. Resisting the urge to give up. I try to write on a regular basis, some days it’s all I can do to just get myself out of bed and dressed in the morning. Days like today.
I’m in the process of finding a new doctor to help me cope with all the feelings and internal turmoil I’m dealing with everyday. As I search I try to remind myself to be thankful every day. Thankful for family, friends, and all the things that I sometimes take for granted. I know that if it were not for more than a few of you people I wouldn’t be here anymore. I’m not going to call anybody out. If you know me and what my life has been like, then you know who you are. So let me just say “thank you”, because I know I don’t say it enough. I’m have a lack for words for what you all mean to me and not wanting to get all sappy limits me. But thank you to all of you. I pray things will get better. No idea how right now. But I’m still searching for answers. Thanks to you.
I met so many interesting, artistic, inspirational, and wonderful people at the conventions I went to throughout 2011.
And I reconnected with many friends and lost a dear old friend.
What does 2012 hold in store? I really have no idea. But I have projects I am working on, hopefully I will make progress on them. I leave you with something from my friend Sunny. A little positivity for the future.
So I’m back from Comic Con. What nightm– adventure. On Wednesday (Preview Night) I got about 20 feet through the doorway when I proceeded to take a spill on the escalator. I was dehydrated, exhausted from a 20 minute walk and I cut my hand in the fall. My blood pressure and heart rate was way up. So I sort of sprayed blood everywhere and the towel I used to put pressure on the wound looked a heck of a lot worse than the injury actually was.
I was taken by ambulance to the ER where the doctors replenished my fluids and monitored me for about 5 hours. After that I took a cab back to the hotel, where I then began reenacting the chest waxing scene from The 40 Year Old Virgin by trying to gently (and unsuccessfully) remove the electrodes from the multiple EKGs they gave me. What a pain, literally.
The next day was in a haze for me and I really was feeling too good. After that my experience got better as I learned the ins and outs of San Diego Comic Con. I went to several panels but did not get many pictures. It’s very crowded and not easy to manage a camera. I didn’t get any shots worth posting here. I did get to see family and friends that I haven’t seen in many years. It was a blast, and I hope to keep in touch and see them more often.
A highlight of the Con for me was the panel for the TV show Chuck. This is the shows last season and they are determined to take the show out in a way that will be fun for the fans of the show. Below I embedded the teaser video that was shown at the Comic Con panel, enjoy.
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A great guy, whose humor and friendship will be sorely missed. We had many an adventure back in the day. We stayed in touch over the years.
As I was just saying to another friend yesterday, Jim was the kind of friend that you may not talk to every day, we were separated by great distance. But when we talked, we picked up right where we left off, just like family. I’m really not able to say more right now, I feel like someone punched me in the gut.