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Blah!

Yep

Yep

“You’re focussing on the negative…Be mindful of your thoughts.”

Obi-wan Kenobi

Radioactive = No Super Powers

Radioactive = No Super Powers

I had my second nuclear stress test today. They pumped me full of radioactive stuff and stressed my heart to take video of how it is functioning. It left me feeling weak and dizzy for the rest of the day. The bummer is, I don’t get super powers.

The bonus is, I get fuzzy snuggles while resting. I’d rather it was a cute girl, but whatever.

Adventures in Journaling

Adventures in Journaling

Studying more ways to keep a journal. I know there is more I could be doing. Goals, money, personal time, etc. Don’t force it is what I’m finding. Swapping out journals at the beginning of the year. Which I didn’t do this year.

Topics are still difficult for me. Maybe some pages will be lists. Who knows, maybe a music journal, or other topics I haven’t found yet.

Grrrr!

Grrrr!

Not wanting to update WordPress to Gutenberg!

Life Update

Life Update

It’s been a while since I put a real post on these pages concerning my life. Mostly I guess because I felt I didn’t have much to say. I’ve been battling depression and anxiety for most of my life and lately it’s been a real struggle to stay motivated.

In order to keep moving forward I began some online courses to practice my skills and learn a few new ones in the process. I looked into actual schooling, but the $13,000 price tag has sort of put that on the back burner for now. I recently blew a head gasket on my car and the repairs came top a whopping $2700, which I will be paying off for quite some time.

I spent the weekend revamping my websites, and my next step is to rewrite my resume for the umpteenth time. Not looking forward to this.

I’ve also been bidding on jobs on www.freelancer.com Probably won’t make a lot of money, but every little bit helps. I’m also doing this to keep my skills fresh and to keep busy.

I’m tired, that is the hardest part of dealing with everything. I’m trying to stay positive and move forward. But truthfully it’s taking all I have. If not for family and the one close friend nearby, I don’t think I’d be doing as well as I am. So I’ll trudge forward and keep on going.

 

 

Car Problems

Car Problems

My cars “Check Engine” light came on, after plugging in my brothers OBD2 gadget I found out that it is the thermostat most likely. Probably going to be about $200 bucks to put in a new $14 part. It seems that Chevy, in its wisdom buried the thermostat underneath the manifold. Can never seem to save money and get ahead, sigh.

Anxiety

Anxiety

I try to keep busy and look for work every day. Most days I apply for one or two jobs. The waiting is what gets to me and sends my anxiety level through the roof. I exercise and read to keep my mind off of my troubles. Some days I’m more successful than others.

I write, but only a day-to-day journal of my thoughts and fears. My creativity feels like it has stalled. I wish I could come up with more ideas of how to manage my daily stress. Diet is a factor, but being out in the boonies with no access to healthier foods is a definite hinderance. I do take vitamins and a plethora of medications, and I have cut back on sugar. I am trying in small ways to make healthier choices.

Part of me knows that my situation is only temporary and I will eventually find work. I just want to stay healthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. I’m not giving up, just feeling like I’m moving too slow.

Senior Moment

Senior Moment

Sat down to do something and for the life of me I can’t remember what. I’m too young for this.

Nice…not!

Nice…not!

That moment when you admit that no matter how angry you are, you really miss someone.