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Category: The Future

Baby Steps

Baby Steps

Made small forward momentum on a goal that I set for myself years ago. No details yet, just exhilarating excitement.

Wanting More

Wanting More

I originally set this blog up in 2001 to be a place to talk about my life and the adventures I would have. I feel it has devolved into a place where I log my depression and anxiety over the life that could have been.

While mental health is important and I will try to post articles I believe important or interesting, i want more for this site. I will attempt to find that internal voice to tell my story again. I want this place to be a place of life and art that I find or create myself. Not just a place to incessantly whine about what could have been but isn’t. Does that make sense? I hope so.

Grateful 2019

Grateful 2019

Starting 2019 with feeling grateful for the things I have in life. Nothing seems to go right, but I am thankful for family and friends, my dog Georgie, and that I have a place to lay my head at night.

I’m grateful that I get to spend mornings with my grandma having toast and coffee. She’s 95 and is an inspiration for how to live your life and be thankful for everything in it.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without my family. They have stood by me no matter the circumstances. I have a roof over my head and people who love me. I am proud to call them family. We don’t always agree, but we get along and love each other.

I’m thankful for my friend, Pepe. Always working hard towards his goal or pursuing art as his passion. He’s always got a kind word or an encouraging way of looking at things. We’ve been friends for almost 35 years, and I consider him family.  We share a passion for writing, creating, and contributing our art to the universe. We share a love of comics, movies, conventions, and Prince.

In all, I have an abundance to be thankful for. I am hopeful for what 2019 will bring too me.

Suddenly Sad

Suddenly Sad

I’ve had a long day. I’m tired. I also feel sad for no apparent reason. Usually I know what has got me down. But honestly, other a few things that completely out of my control, it’s been a good week. So why do I feel like crying?

Numb

Numb

I feel numb. The things I thought were real have been yanked away, again. Once again I am working without a net.

The universe is cruel to people that don’t deserve it. People who are not bad, but struggle, some days just to survive.

I still care, but I’m unable to put things into words right now. I am whining, yes, I don’t care. The tears are flowing again. It’s not felt like this in a long time.

But this is what happens when you remove the armor from around a vulnerable heart. A fools folly I guess. So I’ll leave it here to remind me to be smarter and a little less foolish.

Happy New Year

Happy New Year

In all 2011 was pretty good. I have an awesome family,

[singlepic id=1057 w=320 h=240 float=center]
including a niece who is pretty darn awesome (and she knows it)

My Cousins Amy and Milo
My Cousins Amy and Milo

…and a new cousin.

Me and Smurfette
Me and Smurfette (Comicon 2011)

I went to San Diego Comicon for the first time.

In the Purple Rain
In the Purple Rain

I went to a Prince concert for the first time in ages.

Comikaze 2011
Comikaze Expo - Los Angeles, November 5th and 6th, 2011 (Art By Pepe Melan http://www.pepemelan.com)

I was a special guest at Comikaze Expo

Richard Herd and me
Richard Herd and me
Brenna Rhea
Brenna Rhea
Sith Happens
Sith Happens










I met so many interesting, artistic, inspirational, and wonderful people at the conventions I went to throughout 2011.

Bruce and me
Bruce and me
Melissa
Melissa
Amy in her bucket
Amy in her bucket
Carla
Carla
Esther
Esther
Old friends
Old friends
Kat
Jim - R.I.P.
Jim - R.I.P.
A long time ago...
A long time ago...





























And I reconnected with many friends and lost a dear old friend.

What does 2012 hold in store? I really have no idea. But I have projects I am working on, hopefully I will make progress on them. I leave you with something from my friend Sunny. A little positivity for the future.

Take what you need

Here’s to an even better 2012!!!

Stumbling Blocks

Stumbling Blocks

Well, in my attempt to make a change in my life I hit a couple of stumbling blocks. One, it looks as though I can get monetary help. But no sure if it will be enough to do what I plan. Two, what I want to do will take a healthy Internet connection. That’s a tough one to overcome, because I don’t have a decent connection. There is also not much I can do about it. Living out here in the outskirts of hell has the disadvantage of next to zero options for Internet faster than dial-up. Not giving up just yet, but it’s not looking good.

Making a change

Making a change

I decided today to try to make a change in my life. I took the first steps anyway. I don’t want to say more than that yet, I don’t want to jinx it. Some of you that read this will know what I’m attempting. But I’m nervous and already skeptical, as the information I requested still has not arrived. Oh well, benefit of the doubt I guess.

I have been unhappy for a long time. Unsure what to do to change how I feel or how to do it. Still not very sure to be completely honest. But I do know that sitting here with nothing to do and nobody to talk with has not helped me at all. I need to do something, just very unsure and not trusting my instincts on my choice. This could either be a really good thing or a bad decision on my part. If things aren’t totally screwed up my instincts are not to mess with anything. But I needed to do something or I might go crazy.

Justice

Justice

I don’t really have mixed feelings about the death of Bin Laden. I was in New York State when the 9/11 attack occurred. I felt the pain, the rage, and empathized with people in New York City and the rest of the world who lost loved ones. I think Bin Laden got what was coming to him. He mastered the plan that brought down the Twin Towers killing thousands of innocent people. He is on a par reserved for people like Hitler in my opinion. He did what he did for hatred’s sake.

I consider myself liberal in my political beliefs. I oppose the death penalty in some cases because I feel that sitting in prison would be a better punishment than paying for numerous appeals. I continue to have questions about our motives behind the Iraq war, but I support our troops who are there to do the job they are required by duty to do. Although, I still may have questions for those people who gave the orders. That is what I believe this country is about, the freedom to question authority.

What I do find distasteful is the celebrating of a death. Yes, I feel it had to happen and it was deserved. But let’s not celebrate it. If we do that it feels, to me at least, like we are no better than the terrorists we fight. Just take solace in the fact that justice was served. We are all human beings on this blue ball spinning through space. Some are evil, some not. But we are all human beings.

I do feel like I’m torn down the middle with my liberal democratic beliefs on one side and the need for justice to be dealt on the other. It’s an odd feeling. One that I tried to explain here. Not very well I think. I welcome other or opposing views, I don’t claim to understand everything.